| Q. When did
you write your first song?
A. I wrote my first song when
I was two and a half, playing with only my right
hand. I still play it at gigs sometimes actually,
but I use both hands now!
Q. What is your songwriting
process? Do the words come first or the music?
Or is it different for different songs?
A. It's different for different
songs, definitely. Sometimes I just sit down at
a keyboard "full" of the beginning of
an idea, an emotion or even a full story I want
to work out, and I really do both at the same
time. For a while it used to really be the words
first, sometimes I'd write them in a journal and
not even go to the keys till I heard the whole
song in my head...these days I generally work
on both at the same time. When I was little, I
always wrote the music first so at least now I
have a variety of approaches.
Q. Do you think consciously
about different musical genres and think: "I'd
like to write this genre of a song or that."...or
does it just come out a certain way musically
because of your mood or the lyric content or rhythm?
A. Hmmm...sometimes I do have
a vague sense that I'd like a song to head in
a certain direction, sure. But that usually results
from where the lyric is going, it's natural versus
premeditated. I try not to impose too many rules
or expectations on a song before it's revealed
most of itself to me... I've written plenty of
songs that could've been produced for one genre
or another, it was a matter of...what the subject
matter seemed to demand.
Q. Many of your songs are about
love that doesn't work out. Is it hard to sustain
a relationship when you spend most of your time
on the road?
A. It may be impossible, but
hopefully not! I am of the mindset right now that
when joy, and love comes into my life I need to
"shut up and enjoy it" and yet also
be as honest as possible with myself as well as
the other person, in terms of the fact that I
am rarely in one place for long...It's also my
workload running MPress Records - as much as my
tour schedule - which makes it so difficult. Generally,
I actually feel more stressed, underslept and
overworked when I'm NOT touring - because of all
the work involved in running the label that has
piled up while I'm gone - which these days I do
into the wee hours until as late as 5am! Try getting
someone you dig to understand why you're up half
the night promoting your records on the internet
or helping your team work through their respective
challenges--half of running a label is being a
cheerleader. It's not easy to make someone feel
they are your #1 priority when you barely have
time to do your laundry between running your career
and getting to the next tour destination in one
piece. I have not been able to do it - or wanted
to, really, to the point of genuinely giving it
the energy it required - for at least a few years...
Nevertheless, I am a passionate person by nature
and I collide with people, connections are made
and sometimes broken - but I wouldn't have it
any other way. What else is there really, to remind
you you are alive than being tortured by desire?
(laughing). Sleep when you're dead. There are
so many things I want to do artistically, I always
feel behind. Along the way, life never stops,
and there are always surprises. But the biggest
surprise for me tends to be when something lasts...because
I haven't chosen that path and I believe for a
relationship to really work you need to want that
in your life, conceptually - not just adore the
person. I'm just not in a place right now where
I can honestly say that's the case.
Q. What was your process of
getting in touch with your bisexuality? At what
age did you first have those feelings and at what
age were you able to put a name to them? Was it
an easy or difficult process? What were the factors
that made it easier or more difficult?
A. Well, I don't think I was
really conscious of what bisexuality was until
I was in college. I'm sure I must've had crushes
on girls, but when you don't think it's an "option"
you repress it, you look elsewhere, so to speak,
for approval and inspiration. I needed to see
it in the world, to know someone who was, before
I could really say I was too, and that was in
my early twenties, toward the end of college when
a variety of female friends happened to share
that part of their nature with me, both socially
as well as through their music. At that point
I had a pretty clear idea that even though I'd
never acted upon it, I was probably bi. After
college I happened to meet someone and connect
very quickly on that level, she was my best friend
first and then we dated...it was a very formative
time and not necessarily the easiest process of
discovery, to say the least.
What made it most difficult was my sense that
I would be disappointing particular friends and
family-members, that was just painful all around
and definitely affected the relationship also,
because I was not "out" and that was
inherently stressful. What ultimately made it
easier, in the long run, was that within a matter
of a year or so I worked through those fears and
confronted everyone I felt it was important to
have understand what was going on, and who I wanted
to be in terms of not being ashamed and even,
celebrating that side of myself. I certainly was
not aiming to shock or disappoint anyone, and
once I really had those conversations with the
people who initially didn't accept my choices,
I felt empowered and less at the mercy of secrets
being uncovered and a sense of possible rejection.
I just dealt with it, with those people in my
life...it was messy and painful for a while but
then like most things, it just healed with time
and understanding won out more often than not.
I will say that it was difficult dating someone
who had been out for years, and who was not exactly
sympathetic to what I was going through; she was
impatient and unwilling to recognize that I needed
more support, moral mostly, rather than the energy
that it was silly or childish to be so worked
up about what my friends or family might think.
I would like to think if the situation were reversed
today, I'd be more nurturing and sympathetic than
that; everyone's situation is different and navigating
the path to acceptance by your peers and your
family is inherently tricky. I felt isolated even
though the person who was the "reason"
I came out when I did was my girlfriend, it was
a strange time and I wouldn't go back there for
anything...much easier to already be all grown
up, know who you are, not be keeping secrets of
that magnitude.
Q. Cyanide and Cinnamon is a
love song about a woman [from her third album,
Painting of a Painting.] What did you mean by
"we're closet cinderellas, each others perfect
fit, swallow pride, chew perfection, drink it
down and spit it out?" (lyrics from Cyanide
and Cinnamon)
A. I think it's a metaphor,
and I want it to mean whatever it means to the
listener above all else; I'm not a big fan - even
myself - of knowing exactly what the songwriter
intended; if it can't be felt in the performance
or the song lyric itself somehow, it's failed.
Although obviously in the story of Cinderella,
there's the premise that the most unlikely girl
is the one who is the princess, and who has magic
around her because she is kind and worthy of love
despite her surface rags. I think at the time
I wrote the song I was conflicted, I wanted what
I wanted but I also felt guilty it would hurt
or disappoint certain people if they knew because
of their own hang-ups or prejudices, so the song
was more that moment of "let's enjoy this
while we're alone and the world can't intrude..."
while knowing that part of the excitement inevitably
also came from the sense that what we were sharing
was private, secret...
So I honestly don't remember entirely what I
meant at the time it was such a long time ago,
but the feeling is mostly relating to that euphoria
that comes with loving someone you're not supposed
to be with, and it being "you and them against
the world" in a sense.
Q. How does someone who constantly
tours stay in touch with life enough to write
about it? Does it interfere with songwriting at
all or has it changed the kind of songs you write?
A. I think that process, that
struggle is what keeps me doing this. It's not
easy, no...I am a very very busy person - far
busier than I'd like to be, it's true. But in
this day and age, that seems pretty typical, especially
for any indie artist - there's just an awful lot
to do to keep yourself afloat in a dwindling live
music arena and a marketplace oversaturated with
artists and albums.
I write about the struggle itself to be balanced,
to keep the thread of connection, to do things
you're afraid of, to let go of what you can't
control. I write about what I know, mainly...with
the occasional song about a movie or novel thrown
in for spice, but I don't always like to spell
out which are my stories and which are the stories
of others; I think it's more important they just
be able to stand on their own. I think there's
plenty of life on tour - perhaps more than when
I'm home. Life is meeting real people, interacting
with them in a genuine way, fielding their opinions,
their dreams, their worries. I feel like life
on tour is very rich, and while of course I also
try to pick up the NY Times as often as possible,
I think a lot of people think they're in touch
because they watch cable tv - so the concept of
what living is can become a very postmodern discussion
rather quickly in today's society.
I also think the process of playing itself, of
improvisation and interacting with a band is an
endless source of life lessons, a microcosm for
all different types of relationships and insights
between lovers and family and even strangers,
depending on the energy at any moment. I think
just being in the moment - wherever, whatever
the circumstance - yields the kind of inspiration
needed to write good songs. Every day brings surprises...every
new town new friends and certainly new scenery
that ignites the imagination.
Q. What gave you the chutzpah
to start your own record company?
A. Well I don't know what to
say on that other than that it runs in my family!
"You can't win unless you enter" was
the first lesson we were ever taught, it was ingrained,
it was enforced - perhaps overly so.
Q. The Blistering Sun is your
latest record. Could you tell me something about
each of the songs you wrote on this album? Just
a one or two-liner.
Q. Alright, OK.
A. Alright OK is my favorite
song on the album, because it it's essentially
about not letting your insecurity and fear get
in the way of your purpose.
Q. Featherwoman
A. When I sing it, it's more
of an uplifted anthem about just listening to
your own voice, being authentic on your own terms
- and caring less about what anyone thinks than
just following your bliss, your purpose...
Q. 93 Maidens
A. This song is based on the
letters of Warsaw teenager Chaya Feldman, whose
entire class swallowed poison rather than submit
to Nazi torture.
Q. Wildflower
A. Wildflower is a song that
I wrote as a direct reaction to a work-relationship
that had slowly regressed from productive and
satisfying, to disempowering and frustrating by
virtue of diminished communication or rather,
dishonest, passive-aggressive communication. Within
this relationship I started to feel trapped, and
impotent to realize my own potential because I
had mistakenly come to think I was totally dependent
upon this person to realize my goals. It's a song
about liberating yourself from the idea that you
can't confront someone because you'll lose them...
Q. Violet or Blue
A. Violet or Blue isn't really
a personal song so much as it was my attempt at
an R&B, classic-style 70's love ballad
Q. Lonely Streets
A. The rhythm of Lonely Streets
was inspired directly by something I love to do:
walking. If you listen to the track, the pace
is the same as walking very swiftly, with purpose.
It's a heart-beat kind of song, about feeling
the pulse of the City in relationship to your
own pulse. It was penned after one too many crushes
I never should've acted on.
Q. Older
A. Older is a song that just
came out whole.
Q. Hit Song
A. It's kind of a parody of
the expectations and what I call "shmoozaholism"
that abounds when innumerable independent artists
are vying for attention from the movers and shakers
in the music business.
Q. Burning Witch
A. It's about longing and the
quest for truth in terms of love, but it's also
a metaphor for the idea of asking for what you
want, of just lunging in and not letting fear
or hesitation hold you back. It's my "carpe
diem" song. When you ignore your own passions
in favor of never offending anyone: you die.
Q. Paperplane
A. Paperplane is a song about
survival, a song about reckoning, and what that
means at a point of emotional-crossroads.
Q. Proof
A. Proof is a straight-up love
song, but it's written from a platonic perspective.
I'm sure many people have friends or even a family
member who just don't realize how special or beautiful
they are, and how their generosity impacts those
around them...
Q. Surprise
A. Surprise was a song I wrote
for my sister's wedding. I wrote it on napkins
on the plane ride to the wedding.
Q. C'mon Over
A. C'mon Over is a reluctant
love song, a "like song"; it's a playful
tune about two people who are so bent on never
committing to anyone that they end up seducing
each other with their respective commitment issues.
Q. Calypso
A. Calypso is a very simple
song, the most straightforward one on the album
which is why I put it last. I think that it represents
the strongest part of one's character, the part
that is unafraid, undaunted...and refuses to give
up.
You can get more information about Rachael Sage
at her website: rachelsage.com |
