| "Among
the likeliest effects of gay marriage,"
writes Stanley Kurtz "is to take us
down a slippery slope to legalized polygamy
and 'polyamory' (group marriage). Marriage
will be transformed into a variety of relationship
contracts, linking two, three, or more individuals
(however weakly and temporarily) in every
conceivable combination of male and female.
A scare scenario? Hardly. The bottom of
this slope is visible from where we stand.
Advocacy of legalized polygamy is growing."
Kurtz, whose words appear
in an August 4 article in The Weekly Standard
titled "Beyond Gay Marriage,"
is just one example of the chorus of conservative
pundits who, terrorized by the growing momentum
in favor of same sex marriage, have begun
to make "sinister" suggestions
about "where this might lead."
"There isn't a
single argument in favor of same-sex marriage
that isn't also an argument in favor of
polygamy," says columnist Maggie Gallagher
to the Baptist Press. "People have
a right to marry who they love, these relationships
already exist. ... We have no right to deny
the children of their protections."
Anti-queer forces may
quake in fear at the thought of a world
where all relationships are valued equally
to the heterosexual marriage. But, if the
conservatives are right, poly families like
Ron Owen's have a reason to celebrate.
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Owen and his partners, Peter and Leonie
are one of the bi community's most visible
poly families. He has discussed their relationship
in bi conference presentations and their
story appears the debut issue of the Journal
of Bisexuality. The triad has been together
for 14 years now and they raise a son and
daughter together. However, despite the
emotional bond between them, their legal
status is shaky at best.
In the Owen family,
Peter and Leonie legally married so Leonie
could immigrate to the U.S., but Ron has
no legal relationship to either of them.
Like many people in nontraditional relationships,
they've talked about developing wills and
powers of attorney in case one of them dies
or becomes medically incapacitated -- but
they haven't actually gotten around to doing
it. And Ron honestly doesn't know what will
happen to their children if the three should
split up.
On a day-to-day basis,
the family operates in something of a "don't
ask don't tell" climate. Though Owen
is out at work, their children's school
forms get signed by whichever parent is
available. When their daughter was in the
hospital, all went to visit. Nobody questions
it, says Ron, because so many children have
step-parents these days. "It's a paradigm
people are used to."
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