3 newspapers: the guardian, the willamette week, the stranger to you i owe my life as i know it, in other words some homage, 3 cups of regret, a little too much turbulence from the egg beater, or the electric mixer, as the more well off say, did i say regret? i didn't mean it, in fact i've never believed in it, at least not since high school when i decided if you could live your life over, you'd make the same mistakes, they'd just be more frustrating. but i was telling you about newspapers, the personal ads i mean and the classifieds. from the guardian i got nude photography jobs and men to do threesomes along with my husband, from the willamette week i got female lovers, from the stranger i got a girlfriend, a companion, whose love scares my husband. this is stream of consciousness--it isn't real-- some words just sound better following other words. like love should always follow a word like girlfriend--husband often works too. husband and girlfriend aren't conventionally understood to go well together, though most people worry about it happening the other way around, as in husband who has a girlfriend which is certainly common enough to worry about. but others take words like puzzle pieces and try to fit them together when they don't really go, thinking they're artists or trailblazers, that originality has its own reward and god i mean it better because it's only grief when you look at external consequences: husband, girlfriend and female lover. i'm telling you those 3 newspapers are a dangerous combination-- no holds barred--you can find whatever you want in them things you didn't know you wanted till you saw the listing, but don't think, after you pick up the phone, you can climb back into the little box of your life. you could end up like me: words from a magnetic poetry set, husband and girlfriend, spending your time trying to do something with them